In some respects, it seems like a scene from Groundhog Day. If you've seen the movie, you'll recall that Bill Murray lives the same day over and over again. In my case, I walk into the exam room and my patient is in there with my letter announcing my departure(usually crumpled up and thrown at me in disgust). I explain, as well as I can in the few moments we have, in a little more detail about the reason for my change. I don't mind talking about it, as I find it helpful to flesh out some points which were briefly touched on in my note. It has also been a bit of a relief, because now it's out in the open and I can speak more candidly with people about this important part of my life.
I have had an interesting array of responses from individuals.
One person congratulated me on my retirement, telling me she was so happy for me and that I had earned it, wishing me yet again happiness in my retirement and that she'd miss me. (I suspect she hadn't fully read the letter).
Two people have called me a quitter. I am not sure if this was their attempt at humor, or if that's how they see me.
One woman told me she cried for an hour after getting my letter in the mail.
A few people have gotten teary eyed (me too for that matter).
I have been the recipient of many hugs, from even the most stoic of my patients.
Someone sent me a very nice note thanking me for the "excellent car" I gave him. I suspect he meant "care", but maybe it was a car. I will have to check my driveway when I finish this post.
I have also gotten many nice cards and even a smattering of gift cards (Olive Garden here I come!).
This is not a hint for more of the same of any of the above. Truly, I wish it was as simple as retiring as that one person thinks. Equally, I would love to be in a position to buy you all cars, but not being Oprah, you and I both know that's not going to happen.
Rather, I just want to acknowledge, in all humility, how touched I have been by your kind words. Sometimes it is not easy to tell if my efforts on any given day, with any given person have any impact. It appears that to a few of you they do.
I will let you in on a little doctoring secret of mine. For a long time, I have often played a little mental game with myself as I go into a patient's room. I pretend that I am encountering an angel in disguise, the ultimate Secret Shopper, if you will. I imagine that I am being tested to see if I treat him (or her) with grace and warmth. I think of the reception Abraham gave the angels in Genesis 18. He thought they were just strangers, but welcomed them nonetheless. I imagine that I am coming face to face with a VIP, someone I can learn from as much as I can offer help to them. So far, I have found that most everyone has something to teach me, whether it be something very practical (e.g. get out of bed feet first to avoid headaches), or more sublime like how to have grace or patience in a particular setting.
In short, you have been my teachers and sources of inspiration as well. Thanks for all you do. I appreciate you. Now, about that retirement....
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